Day 68 of my stay in Shanghai. How time flies. Looking back, i can only wonder with wide-eyed awe... Needless to say, these past few months probably contain as much emotional ups and downs as the past 15 years of my life. Its like one day i wake up with a grey sky, heavy steps and empty heart, whereas the next day i awake with hesitant but insistant hope, like sun breaking through storm clouds. It's kinda being on a roller-coaster, without the throwing up... Oh sure, some of you might think i'm joking or playing around. People who come here for the first time would probably think, 'Hey chill man. Dude this is one sorry depressed suicidal kid." Hey you walk in my shoes first, and then comment. Pitiful little kid i am huh? Life is full of black and white and different shades of grey. You're stuck in that damn tunnel and its like the light at the end went out. Hope. :) That pretty much sums up the state of my emotions throughout my stay in Shanghai so far. Up and Down and Round and Round.... No i haven't gone cukkoo... Nearly, but not quite. Thankfully, i'm much better now as compared to a few weeks ago... A big favour for Dexter who's too lazy to read essay-length posts. Part 1: School life But i heard its great compared to other schools... So i'm wondering why Shanghai's population density is decreasing... What's different is that most of the students here bunk in the school, so they're really close and friendly. Class size is generally smaller than that of Singapore, with a range of ages from 14-18 in my class. And i STILL haven't gotten my ugly uniforms yet. Did i mention students have to wear blue-green tracksuits every tuesday to thursday? Schools here organise lame events too. Just this week the school organised an "idol" contest. My school days are now spent playing badminton, basketball, staying awake during lessons and trying get people to understand my horrible Chinese... I'm getting 2 month's worth of holidays in June... So i guess it'll be worth the wait. You guys back in Singapore are having your March holidays now right? Part 3 Not much actually. Gets kinda lonely at times. I realise i haven't yet uploaded my pictures from the ChongMing island trip a month ago... Since there are so many and i think this post has gotten quite long enough, i'll upload them some other time. Besides, i'll be going there again in April! I guess that's all for now. My blog will just have to look like it got paint spashed on it... at least until i find a nicer skin. My tagboard will still look like i haven't been feeding it regularly... I'll still wake up everyday feeling a little empty inside... So many things have changed... Yet so many things stay the same... One day at a time then... One day at a time...
How can anyone squeeze so much misery, pain, discouragement, depression yet hope into little less than 70 days?
But no, i won't give up. I won't let myself down anymore. I'm kind of getting sick of that.
To hell with circumstances. Circumstance does not define who i am.
or "Hey c'mon it can't be that bad right?"
so?
Heaven on earth is but a dream, no one said anything about easy.
So?
SO?
Thats what the little black book by my bedside tells me.
So that's what i'm going to do.
To no-one in particular,
Save your pity for someone who doesn't deserve it.
I'm just really, really, really... well...
Tired, depressed, drained, hopeful, expectant, dreading, exhausted, strengthened, lethargic, alert, vexed, disenchanted, discontented, disoriented... The list goes on and on...
Things are considerably less crazy now. Hence i can squeeze some time to post...
Part 2: Family life
Part 3: Social life
Part 1:
School food sucks. They scoop it out of a bucket and gloops it on your tray. It might even be an exotic species of jellyfish, seeing how it moves..
Apart from food, the school's alright i guess. Classes are conducted in 'English' and lessons are the usual boring you find in Singapore...
Towards each other, that is...
I sit all the way in front as i'm so short... -.-
Discipline here is really slack as compared to CCKss. It's real cool to listen to music and watch anime during class time.
I think they wanted to help the students de-stress.
We people in the audience sure felt de-stressed when the Singing finally stopped.
A few of us ran out of the auditorium screaming, when these two girls went on-stage to sing "Doraemon".
This past week was spent revising for my monthly test. Here they have a subject test once a month. My final exams are still quite a long way off, but so are the holidays.
Enjoy...
Part 2
The past few days have been kind of hectic, hence my family doesn't go out that much. Not that we usually go out... My Sis' and I have school on weekdays and our weekends are spent on homework. The only time we go out is for church or for cell group. Or when i go for my Saturday morning run.
I'm still looking around for a suitable church and youth group. Apparently i haven't found any. :/
My Dad's boss is in town, so he's kind of stressed up right now. But that's nothing compared to my Sis. Her Promotion exam's next week.
My house is pretty much in a mess right now, with boxes all over the place and no time to clear them out. I think we're hoping they'll somehow grow legs and fly away.
AND we still haven't bought some necessary furniture...
Top that up with various family problems and squabbles...
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posted @ 9:06 PM |
