Soon there will be nothing left...

Friday, January 1, 2010

Hey all..

Amos here. :)

I know it's been awhile since i've updated my blog and most people have forgotten that i have one, but i just decided to type this one last post today.

Yep.. the last post.. Think of it as this blog's final dying breath. How ironic that it would be written on the first day of 2010.

Firstly, i would like to give my apologies to all those people who were waiting for me to update my blog.. reply to tags... etc..
Im really sorry.
This blog died due to various reasons, such as
1.i was really busy as i had transferred school AGAIN and was drowning in schoolwork.
2.I didn't really now what to blog about, seeing that my life in Shanghai was pretty dull.
3.I was depressed at that time, and didnt want to worry all you people during your exam period.
4. China blocked blogspot. and facebook. and youtube. and twitter.. Myspace... -_-

So yeah. Blame China.

In case you all didnt know, i've been in Singapore since 19 Dec. Maybe you might have seen me in ANE camp.. or Malaysia.. or in one of Chasper's outings. Or maybe you were too busy working to realise i was back. i dont blame you.
Just know that i leave tomorrow. And the next time you see me, things will not be the same.
Change is constant.
And change is what i have observed. Alot has changed in one year. Some for the better, others for worse. Some of the people i thought i knew have become strangers to me, while people i didnt think twice about ended up being like a brother.

Change is inevitable, but that doesn't mean i have to like it.

Some people can't help but live in the past, and unfortunately, i'm one of them. The future is just too scary.

But still, this has been an enjoyable two weeks in Singapore. To me, it was like coming home. Staying in my old house, going out with friends, staying at Chasper's, joking around with them... I will treasure these memories forever, corny as it might sound.

After all, what are we but a collection of memories and past experiences?

I really enjoyed myself. I MADE SURE i enjoyed myself. Because the next time i return (IF i return) things will be different. I might not even see some of you again... you all being busy with schoolwork and all that.
And PLEASE don't say stuff like "oh i'll definitely make time for you next time" unless you mean it. Words are cheap. I prefer actions.

After seeing how much as changed in a year, i wonder how things will be like in 2.. 3.. 5... years...
Food for thought.
Much as it pains me, i have to put an end to this wonderful dream, this joyous reunion, to go back to a place i detest. Life is full of bullshit.
But i know that i cannot stay..
partly due to my studies, partly due to my family.. but mainly because there is nothing left for me here.
True, this is my home, and forever will be my home. But this chapter in life is drawing to a close, even as we move on. I somewhat agree with what Chasper said, that it was better for me to leave early. Better to preserve the magic and memories than to let it stagnate and sour.

If you, dear reader, are just some random person who stumbled upon my blog and don't get a single shit of what im saying, just bear with me. Understand how painful it is to return to your home to find that it has changed, and will continue to change, and that you cannot stay.
You might think overly dramatic. So be it. I'm just trying to put these pent-up emotions into words.

To all my friends, i sincerely thank you. For the memories, the experiences, the lessons we learnt together and for believing and trusting in me. I only wish that i was an equally good friend to you. Forgive me my flaws, i can't help it. I just hope you can accept them, as i try to accept yours.

I too have changed in this one year, for better or for worse.

Well... tomorrow morning i board the plane to return to Shanghai. And over time, i will be drowning in homework.. struggling to adapt... So please forgive me if i dont have time to reply you on msn.. or if i seem distant. It's not that i want to.. but circumstances force me.

After coming back to Singapore, i realise how much i've missed this place. The thought that has been in my mind ever since i touched down was "I'm home.. I'm finally home". I regret not cherishing those times when i stayed here. I was always discontent.. ungrateful... now i realise how lucky i was. To stay in such a wonderful country... with such wonderful friends..

Tomorrow i leave. And it will be a more painful departure than that of last year. Because this time i realise how much i've lost..
Time waits for no one.

God bless you all.

Until next time... =)

posted @ 11:13 AM |

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Was sifting through my collection of photos from the past 3 years and i came across some fond memories.

Suddenly i realise..
Those days are gone, possibly never to return.

Whoa.

Time goes by, words fade away and only these empty pictures remain.

To whom it may concern.... =D

My only regret is that i didn't take more photos...

posted @ 2:29 AM |

Part 7 (At last)

Well here are all the pictures that i took during my previous trip to ChongMing island.
There are more, but i didn't want to post pictures of my family or other ppl without their permission...